Probably a creationist, from what you know about biological science. Documents were drawn up by said lawyers. Its just biological fact- unfair probably, but not something we can change. Oh, and I really dislike when every accidental pregnancy letter we get on here because a huge fest for people throwing around you were too stupid to use a condom or you didnt try to prevent pregnancy at all, when we really have NO information regarding what precautions they did or did not take. MOA, and wash your hands of the whole thing. The point is, theres a baby on the way who needs a daddy. Even if you wore a condom. 2. the guy is not worth you in a relationship. Especially if ever precaution was taken (birth control, condoms, etc.). No, he could be furious at the legal system that compelled it or at the woman (who, by the way, was equally culpable in the creation) who opts to continue with a child only she wants. 24 signs your ex-girlfriend misses you 1) She's all over your social If lets_be_honest Man I love got another girl pregnant - Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend I'm still contemplating because if my boyfriend finds out, I'm afraid he'll leave me. Dear Bossip: We Broke Up And He Got Another Woman Pregnant They can either hope the woman opts to not keep the baby, or they pay. April 9, 2012, 9:39 pm. I mean, he loved the baby mama enough to get erected & to bang her & to just release evrything to make her pregnant, & what the fuck am I thinking?!?!? Dont be so quick to assume every dude who makes an observation about a real phenomenon is some embittered douche full of vitriol; you may learn something in the process. If men abandon a child, you have a child with needs that take precedent over fairness to the abandoning parent. The more you fight for another womans man, the more desperate you look. No law can change the fact that whatever choice a man or woman in this position makes, the woman has the burden of actually carrying out the birth or abortion. While we both made it, I wanted it and he didnt. April 9, 2012, 11:54 am. Paraphrased of course. He could have also said he wants the baby, and the LW is lying. Iwannatalktosampson You really have no idea what child support means. I know exactly what child support means, and you are discussing the post-birth situation, where there actually is a child who actually needs support. Maybe she doesnt want the baby at all, but it seems the least unappealing choice to her in this scenario. So tough shit. I think the key is that the choice to abort doesnt result in an innocent child that still has needs to be met. Even if she was on birth control. April 10, 2012, 7:01 pm. P.S. (And a hint- if your boyfriend is as much of a mess as this letter makes him seem, its not- no matter how much of a mess you are). bittergaymark I think she is just trying to trap my man, who is untrappable. Nothing more, nothing less. Just feeding on each other and leaving a trail of human wreckage in their wake. LW, why are you directing all of your anger at this other woman? She came first. But youre too stupid/gullible to be angry at him. November 19, 2012, 3:02 pm. but he does not have the option to opt out entirely, which is something the pregnant woman can do. Get your hands off my uterus! What the LW needs to do is take a deep breath, wait a long time for this situation to resolve, and then decide what she wants to do. The only thing you need to think about is if you can stay and have a healthy relationship with a man who has a child with another woman and wants to bear minimal responsibility for raising the child. I have two young sons I dearly hope neither of them ever come across a woman as conniving as you appear to be. Then the day we got back from this amazing vacation, he broke up with me through email! The system you propose that if conception is not by mistake and if the man does not decide early on that he doesnt want to be responsible, then he should be obligated to that child is the craziness system ever. If he was the kinda guy that decided he wanted to be in his childs life every 5 years when it was convenient and made promises that he never kept and lost interest after a while, that would be seriously damaging to that childs sense of self-worth. Not me. But I believe theres a definite difference. Hey I have a novel idea. Im not questioning the reality of the situation Im questioning the inherent fairness of the law today. The rest of us enjoy it, I think people dont give the blow job enough credit. This discussion sure got crazy though! But, yet, again you let him back and hoped things would change and he would be with you. I had no idea most women hated it. He says it's a mistake and just did it to forget me. I assume from the debate that this has become a fact that was inferred due to the women being on birth control. My biological father, whom Ive never met, responsibly paid child support and didnt confuse me by dropping in and out of my life. In my opinion, even if the baby turns out to not be his, hes already shown his true colors; and theyre pretty yellow. Just shut up and pay the bills, right? 2. April 10, 2012, 4:22 pm. Its very unfair. Thats the way it has to be. If a woman has sex with a man she should be prepared for the fact that it could result in her under going a medical proceedure, be it an abortion or childbirth. Just sayin. Hes furious with the woman for keeping the child. I dont know what he told her within those two minutes but obviously it worked cause now yeah. Youre expecting women to put the penis of some guy theyve known for two minutes in their mouth?!?!?!?! If youre a man, your time to prevent having a child is when you have sex and decide how to protect yourself. It isnt pertinent to the discussion. What kind of person he got into a new relationship with. Why you waste any time belly aching about how unfair it is, is beyond me. Nor is there any guarantee that the woman who tells you that she doesnt want to have a baby wont change her mind when faced with that decision. Beyond that, no one really cares that he jumped in bed with another woman right after they broke up only to decide that he cant live without her after getting said woman pregnant. I was thinking this letter was going to be juicy!! And since shes the one with the baby in HER uterus, theres not a whole lot you can do to force her to have the abortion or stop her from doing so. "My mom got pregnant from a one-night-stand at 16. Please. Its believed to be ineffective because for years people thought there were sperm cells in pre-cum, but thats a myth. You know, I dont have much patience this morning, so I (somewhat) apologize if my reply reeks of snark.. If youd like to share you e-mail, we could correspond more about this. If you choose to roll those dice against any odds you have yourself to blame if they dont land in your favor. This week she contacted him to say she was pregnant. I cant tell you how many children have grown up thinking something was wrong with THEM because they had a parent who didnt want them. It is amazing to me to see the vitriol that men are carrying on with talking about paying money towards the health and well being of a child that they helped create. And, lo and behold, you arent coming across any better. Hed be out the door on you as well. Just like we trust people when they say they got tested? Youre wondering if he will marry her. I wouldnt want to hang around to find out. But dont be surprised if he gets slapped with child support responsibilities b/c he couldnt be responsible enough to prevent pregnancy it takes two. Might he have continued sleeping with her? 4. You want to be a slave to a prick like him? Im a guy, and I think that the BF is a loser scum bag. Addie Pray April 9, 2012, 12:31 pm. Men are stupid and do stupid things, but so are women. She gets to decide whether she keeps the baby or not. If hes such an awful scumbag, why would you want to force him to be a father. Id be more concerned with him having unprotected sex with someone HE just met. I dont think he is a bad person for telling a woman within the first trimester of a pregnancy that he barely knew and presumably made no false impressions to that he did not want a child and had no intention of being a part of that childs life. So the law says, hey, you two created this child, you two are responsible for supporting it. Waitplease have an abortion and i prefer you have an abortion aredifferent? Ever since U.S. Just a suggestion for your scumbag boyfriend. And finally , yes, I do think he should have some right to what happens to that pregnancy, and yes I do think that trapping someone by getting pregnant is repulsive, and so yes, I can understand his anger at the woman if that is what is happening. bittergaymark Can I just say that would bother me a lot. If he isnt willing to be there for his kid, wanted or not, then what happens when you get pregnant? According to legal abortion theory, only women create children. Dude, get away from this guy pronto! However, not once did I say anything like what youre implying. Let me repeat myself IT IS NOT A LOTTERY WIN. You said it better, but I jumped back in before seeing your replies. If there is no child at conception Or you think that landygirl does that? And that isnt fair either. You can look at it like women are lucky- they can opt out at the last minute! We dont know that she asked for any money. That is what makes him a douchenozzle. When you break up, you get the rare opportunity to see your ex's true nature at the worst of times. Ok, lets say he has the right to have as much unprotected sex as he wants. If you are a woman, if you just met a guy, and if you become pregnant, you can get 20+ years of child support. Seven months later he tells you that while you were gone, and in order for him to get over you he met someone else and now shes pregnant. Hes scum all around in my book. And fools are welcome to the horror you and your ilk inflict upon them. But it happened. I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can. Translation: men should think before they poke but women can do whatever they damn well please. My ex and I broke up for the first time a year ago. I blocked his number, but 2-3 weeks laterhe was calling me from his job, calling me through Facebook, and calling me from a private number. I dont see why this issue is any different. She may have just dumped his ass and now he wants to temporarily get back with LW and knows what to say. I would like to also say, we dont know that shes trapping him. You are being played with a capital P! This is a man that has never stopped cheating on you. The pill doesnt stop ovulation in all women. She deserves to be treated as cheap and unwanted but he doesnt deserve to skate free. I told her if its not about the kids, dont text him. That line of reasoning is fine but condescending only for those who never in their entire lives have ever done anything that might have resulted in something unexpected (and unwanted) happening. Your welcome. Why do you think that is? Because women are always unfairly saddled with the burden of child birth, we will always be the ones who make the choices about whats going on in our own bodies. SMDH! When I was on the pill, my ex boyfriend STILL used condoms to make sure it was safe. You know, I dont have much patience this morning, so I (somewhat) apologize if my reply reeks of snark. End. Whether or not she trapped him is irrelevant, in my opinion. She still doesnt get it, but we tried. There is no child at conception very good. April 9, 2012, 10:04 pm. One is right next to me . iseeshiny 1. Especially the children. Inc. Lee's Summit MO. Can you elaborate? It is my argument that only an ass would be furious at anyone other than himself when he becomes obligated to provide for a child that he created. Womans body, womans choice, womans child, NEVER is it the mans child. I honestly dont care if he did or didnt. Again, he has not opted out of the childs life. Because, you dont know the other person you dont if they remember to take their pill on time, if they forget pills for days at a time, if they are taking antibiotics, or if youre just one of the unlucky small small percentage that gets pregnant while taking the pill. Women this means the pill or condom or whatever. Also I disagree with the logic that if you support legal abortion, then you emphatically deny that men create children. I think the LW here should wash her hands of this whole mess and stay away from the drama. Thanks for proving you and your ilk are out to entrap men to sustain your lifestyle by dropping as many babies as you can..and living on welfare checks honest people pay for..SLUT! Wrap it up or dont have sex, thats the only choice YOU have.. By that logic, virtually every dude on the planet is an idiot. Since there is no way to guarantee pregnancy wont occur aside from proof of sterility, this righteous DW anger would likely be aimed at any man who didnt end up wanting the child (no matter what precautions had been taken), likely by the same people whod turn red in the face about any story where a man was forcibly stopping someone from getting an abortion. Your 40-year-old ex-boyfriend sounds like an immature, irresponsible, whiney person. The last 15 girlfriend jokes It's bro's before hoes, not bro's over your girlfriend. Ummm sorry your comparison is ridiculous because in that case its 100% the fault of the person eating at the restaurant. I gave him a green flag to make his decision and let him off the hook for any and all care and support, so long as such decision was irrevocable. (yes, I know, lifes unfair). You are an entitled, awful, C.U.N.T for even THINKING that you have an opinion on what this woman does with her pregnancy. There is no 100 percent way to prevent pregnancy. Anyway, people are calling him scum for having unprotected sex with a woman he was dating. According to this, then, a woman should have the choice of forcing the child, once born, onto the father, and then only paying child support for a couple of decades. The guy had sex with someone who got pregnant. Abortion is incompatible with compelled child support. I get what youre saying. Does that change your opinion? wendy, i love you for leaving the crazies to us! Its one thing that he says he will pay for it (Im assuming this means child support), but a true father doesnt just look at this as a once a month payment for 18 years. And those young boys and those young boys parents have wages garnished for the next 18 years to pay for the rapists child. April 9, 2012, 6:39 pm, Oh, please. bittergaymark What I see is a huge surge of anger at the guy and all sorts of reflections on what type of person he must be, and relatively little anger towards the woman, whose pregnancy and right to bear the child are apparently sacrosanct. I just feel that they are, at times, the least bad solution. April 9, 2012, 4:51 pm. I brought it up, that if *I* was the girlfriend, I would be bothered by this, in addition to his behavior post-conception. And she was all, Um, yeah, those arent always 100 percent effective. And he was like, THEY SHOULD PUT THAT ON THE BOX!!!! Now hes going to have to deal with it, even if he wants nothing to do with the childhis wallet will. I dont believe in forcing people to become parents either. Merely that it is an immense expense for the man for a situation that he didnt want a situation which, as I said, the woman is never forced to endure. No, honey, I am not and I dont believe HmC is either. So deal with that. More like: her: what do you want to do about it? I feel stupid once again and a part of me feels that he may come back to me again and I really dont want to be involved, but Im so weak and dont know how to let go. Secondly, it is a medical procedure. My Spidey sense is tingling that this could be a fake. Both men and women create children. Oh I agree that its a bad idea, but still a choice to be made individually. lets_be_honest He hides me as well as the other girl. For someone who cant stand a woman and does not want to have a child you think he would make slightly more responsibly decisions. Going through the comments here, right on cue, I already record no less than five times that the boyfriend is called scum or scumbag. Dude, thats seriously out of line. I dont think the actual equality is as you think it is, but even if I agree that it is, it has nothing to do with what happens early on in a pregnancy. ], Chuck Pelto While I realize that this is a stressful situation, your letter indicates that you will always harbor resentment for this child and this woman who will be in you and your boyfriends lives FOREVER. Cried my eyeballs out evry nite. I am pro-choice, for both woman and for men. You are the one who is keeping this rollercoaster of a relationship going with him. Although I cant decide if shes purely a straight-up C.U.N.T. When someone else makes a decision that massively affects my life for the worse and disregards my preferences, it makes me angry and frustrated. Neither are the kids, but thats beside the point where feminism is concerned, right? I ended up feeling sorry him, and I started talking to him again, but2 weeks laterhe said the pregnant girl was threatening to hurt herself and he was going to be with her and that he cared too much about her and his unborn child to not try to work it out. I might disagree to a minor degree with some of your points although, re-reading your reply, I dont really think so but thats a great summary, and also completely out of place in this thread because its so rational. Not only was she on the pill, but he wore a condom! Some said he deserved the label because he exposed the LW to STDs. Its interesting how none of these comments address that he SPECIFICALLY said that he would have nothing to do with his own child. He said he still loves me and that he didnt love her, and it was a mistake. April 9, 2012, 12:49 pm. And WHY did he not practice safe sex since he only knew her 2 minutes? My only real advice is along the lines with what the other posters have already said. They are all pointing out that the bf is equally responsible for the childs existence and should respect her right to choose.Not only that but they advise the LW to consider her bf role in this drama and not take her anger out on the pregnant woman (who owes her nothing), John Rohan Steve Kellmeyer Its not fair to create more fucked up human beings by being the father a kid never had; by making them think theres something about them that wasnt good enough. Except that hes not. I dont usually ever think letters are fake, but this one MIGHT be fake. Yeah, Im with you, pretty much on all counts. Taking no personality responsibility whatsoever and then whining about the consequences? April 9, 2012, 11:46 am. My boyfriend got a girl pregnant during a breakup. What should - Quora Which, if youll recall, honey, was what we were discussing in the first place before you sidetracked us. You want to work on your social skills. lets_be_honest And the fact is, biology dictates that women have control once a pregnancy has occurred- not just the legal system. April 9, 2012, 9:23 pm. If you were driving your car, and looked down at the time, and hit the child would you ask the parents of that child to not report you to the police, because its also there fault for letting there child run in to the street? And it will need a mother and a father. 8 Things To Think About If Your Ex Girlfriend is Pregnant A forty-year-old man knows exactly how women get pregnant and how to avoid that if he absolutely doesnt want a baby. The crazies on both sides just come crawling out of the woodwork. You bet. He wants to get back with the LW (again, apparently). April 10, 2012, 12:00 am. Seriously, that is your interpretation of the male thought process? Im quite late to the discussion, but I took a lot of time reading over the comments, trying to make sense of the two sides of the argument at hand. Who the hell else is clicking that button??! How the heck do you administer THAT?! My Boyfriend Got Another Girl Pregnant Before We Started Dating, What But simply disagreeing with others does NOT fit the definition of a troll, not by a long shot. evanscr05 Have you noticed how people sometimes own up to having unprotected sex, but its always when they didnt get pregnant? For more information, please see our Because the woman in question has to take on being pregnant for 9 months, giving birth, etc. But even though I led you to think I didnt want to become pregnant, Im going to keep the baby and thereby obligate you to two decades of child support, is, while totally within her rights, still a massive breach of the pre-coital understanding, express and implied, between the parties. All that does is make 3 people miserable (both parents plus the child). It merely reduces the chances. You dont really get a say in this matter. I dont mean to gush but seriously LBH, I respect you and your opinions a lot on the matter and thanks for making me question my gut responses a bit with your candor! But coke didnt mean for its bottle to explode and take your arm off either.
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